I was born with a motor mouth. I am the kind of person who talks 99 % nonsense and 1 % sense. My family and friends vouch for this. What is really surprising is, even people who don't know me seem to have realized this in the first glance. Strangers talk to me out of the blue. They single me out and start off. It is disconcerting since I feel certain there must be a huge signpost on me that says - "Go on, you can always talk to me!"
On Saturday, I was returning home in an auto after watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (which was just as good and as bad as the remaining HP movies). At one of the signals quite far away from my home, the auto driver (I shall refer to him as uncle henceforth) turned to me and questioned - " What are you studying madam? ". I am on a 'trying-to-put-on-some-weight-to-look-my-age' stage so it wasn't really a compliment. I told him I am working. I guess he gave me some credibility because he mustered up the courage and said - "I wish to say something, but please do not mind or feel bad". When someone starts like this, I knew what to expect. I was quite sure he was going to give me a lecture on how girls should behave, wear decent clothes, not talk to boys, not hurt parents and get home on time etc. I have had auto drivers tell me such things on various occasions from the time I was 17. At that time their standard beginning line used to be - "All these MCC girls..". I used to find it amusing and would keep assuring them I will keep their 'feelings' in mind ;-) Back to the present story. I told uncle to go right ahead (and pour out all his frustrations- lol).
Uncle asked , " Is MBBS better or BE better? "
"Depends uncle. Both are very different and does not suit everyone of us", I answered very diplomatically. Although I truly wanted to say "MBBS of course! The world is filled with Engineers today. We need doctors !! "
" My daughter is in 9th Std and she wants to do MBBS but I want her to do BE. Doing MBBS is too strenuous for a girl. It is better for her to do BE since she will get a job here easily and live comfortably ", uncle assesses practically
Aha! My domain, I thought and started off. Notice how easily he got me to open up and start jabbering ??!!!?
" Uncle .. see.. your daughter has to work for the next 15 years and more. If she does BE for your comfort, what about hersatisfaction? MBBS is such a noble profession. She will struggle initially since she has to be an intern at less wages, do a good specialization and then find a good job, but at the end of the day she would be so proud to live her dream for the rest of her life! Whatever profession she chooses, if she is dedicated, a good life will follow. What if she does BE and hates her job ? She cannot then discontinue and start studying for MBBS all over again. Please please do not force her for a short-term gain. Let her make her choice. Ask her to speak to teachers, seniors and a lot of people , know whats really in store in both the options and then decide. "
Our conversation continued in this fashion until I reached my destination. I gave him some more inputs and listened to his side too. Eventually he thanked me and said he would ask his daughter Sunita to talk to me directly. He actually mistook me for some Career Counsellor. Sheesh - I think I went overboard with my ramblings !!!!! I hope I didn't put him off track at least or end up spoiling Sunita's dreams.
This ride was actually like a reality check for me. My heart went out for this uncle who was braving Bangalore traffic on a Saturday evening worried about his daughter's future and even prepared to share his problems with total strangers just to ensure his daughter does not make a mistake. While I appreciate this uncle and his foresight , I find it also a little sad that even today parents force their dreams on their children. I don't know whether Sunita will manage to become a doctor, but there are many Sunitas out there whose fathers will not even for a split-second consider an alternative and force them to do BE.
To all my blog-readers, What would you have done ??? - This is a future counsellor imploring for unsolicited advice just in case Sunita calls me on her father's behest :-)
16 comments:
Nice read !! ... its a gift when strangers can come upto you and talk freely !! ... way to go girl !!
As for the story , its a long debate on what to do life .. go after money or dreams ... but i guess we the privileged ones have a choice , a person struggling for day to day existence doesn't .. puts things in perspective for you , doesnt it ?
What would i have done . Hmmm .. Actully u know what i would have gone with BE . Thinking of the uncle as a auto driver , Paying for MBBS will be too much . I don't know if the uncle would be able to pay that much for her daughter. So it's better that her daughter completes one education rather than leaving MBBS in between.I don't know if that will be forcing a father's decision to the child but yeah at the end of the day MBBS is far more costlier than u think .
That is what i think ..I hope sunita get to do something good in her life :) .
and hats off to u girl .. :P.. How come u missed telling me this yesterday :P
U r so sweet girl that strangers open up to u so well!
Difficult choice though - As Sonal said, affording an MBBS course may nt be easy for the father .. also, I hv heard that a PG degree is very much required to excel in the field!
What I feel though is that Sunita may also be clear when she is in 11th-12th. Let her first pass out of school n get in to a gud college .. I think that should be her goal as of now :)
Blessed are the people (YOU) who can talk and be talked to... :P
As for Sunitha, I guess she should complete her 12th standard. There are certainly philantrophists who may be willing to support her education. But nonetheless, this is a true story of many sunithas caught in the mayhem of Indian Mentality...
Very nice post... truly enjoyed reading it
Neo - Thank you very much :) You're 1st! :-) It does offer a whole new perspective. Its hard to say whats really important because we can't sustain without either. I guess I chose dreams over money. As you rightly pointed out, I have the privilege to do that whereas she may not. Its hard to put myself in her father's shoes! :-(
Sonal - I really loved your reasoning :)What I find so surprising is that it never crossed my mind. At that time I felt suffocated imagining the girl coding when she actually wanted to be a surgeon. Something like that. But I know practical life is far more difficult. Chasing dreams is also not everyone's cup of tea.
Swaram - Thank you girl :) You are totally like my parents. One step at a time. Cross the bridge when it comes. Even fulfilling a dream like MBBS is no joke - The will to fulfil her dream has to be reflected in her academics right from now.
Vidya - Bless you,thank you :)It would be encouraging for Sunita to get aid but again, thats possible only when she excels in her 10th/12th. Her father told me they also fall under reservation category so hopefully that helps as well. All in all, its difficult to make a career choice balancing everything at stake!
no mbbs
go BE!!!
Would have suggested politics. These people at the grass roots level can contribute more to the nation (he sounds sane!).
PS: liked the dig on girls :P
theselfloveproject - why why? is it because of the auto driver's financial condition?
Venkatraman - Wow. Interesting view really .. Honestly never occured to me. But I doubt he would be ready for such a huge risk. And you're right, he was indeed sane and sensible. Nice guy!
--oh and thanks :-)
No comments on the title...Of course ,you are talk to me girl ;-)
Good to find such parents who are so concerned about their kid's future.
I would go with you. Live your dreams else its such a misery to do things that you never really wnt to do.
Shobha - That's a nice new name :-)
You're just like me. Living in the clouds. But yes, that uncle was surely sensitive to his daughter's dreams-that's saying something!
Yeah I have met a couple of auto uncles who have shared their daughter/son's career aspirations with me. And no, I am not a counselor. and no, they dont pay me either. in fact I end up paying more, thanks to their faulty auto meters.
The only thing I always ask them not to do is force their opinions/dreams on the kids. Having said that we also need to consider the monetary aspect, which in this case is expensive. MBBS is on a different level and I have heard engineering is no less. But the return on investment is quicker and better in case of BE. So I too vote for engineering. The girl I feel is too young to decide and may change her decision once she reaches that stage.
Got here from Swaram's blog. Couldn’t help but comment :)
p.s. why do MCC girls get blamed for everything!! che.. :P
Shruthi - Welcome !!! Thanks a lot for leaving your comment behind.
Glad to hear that you've been through the same. Your reasoning was really nice.. similar to mine, only I didn't dwell into the monetary aspect at all :-( I hope she takes the right decision (makes her happy and is isn't too much of a burden for her father)..
As for MCC girls being targetted, tell me about it!! :P
I would as well go with the crowd and vote for BE.
I feel in some cases parents know the best for their kids.I am not in for parents forcing their aspirations on kids but i somewhere feel that they know their kids capability, intrests and level of persistance to achieve something.
I wanted to do law u know, all these filmy courtroom scenes used to really inspire me, but my father told me "No , its not for u as u can't argue n reason as required in this profession".I m glad that i listened to him...coz i really can't open my mouth even now when i am right and other person is absolutely wrong...I must say...Thankyou Daddy n Mommy too :)!!
Urmil - This is exactly why I missed your comments. A whole new window. While I agree that parents do know our capabilities, I feel they must groom kids for overall development to make a wise choice. Simply because parents won't always be there to make the decision. Our parents are definitely more aware of the choices but for parents who're struggling to make a living, a choice is usually a luxury.
On a lighter note, Urmil as a lawyer is something even I can't imagine!! :D
Ok, when did auto uncles lecture you on propriety? Write about that in your next blog:P
Inava - :-) Mostly on my way to MCC from Alliance.. in that short 5 min ride, they would try to drive home the pt!
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