It wasn't me

Office parties I say! Hate them yet we can't do without them. Its one of the outlets available to let your hair down, hog free food, gossip, play pranks and drown in free booze. In the early stages, I used to look forward to them. Solely because I used to get CTs merely watching people sloshed and blabbering nonsense. Where else would you see otherwise sane people make a mockery of themselves after 2-3 mugs of beer etc. This crowd would dance, smile foolishly, wave their hands around muttering popular filmy dialogues. Its masaledar entertainment !!! Deserves to be watched popcorn in hand :-)

Well.. until I became the victim one night.

The venue was Golden Palms Spa & Resort in Bangalore. It was a full day outing and the morning was spent in team bonding activities. I must say it was good - the games and activities were different from normal ones and I also won one of them so.. ;-) Post lunch, people were left to themselves to make use of the resort facilities. So while people were swimming, playing indoor games, relaxing in massage centres, my friend & I went cycling around the resort. Its a really pretty place complete with cozy cottages. As the day progressed, towards dusk, the DJ appeared out of nowhere and there was music with drinks. No matter what I do, I cannot dance to save my life! I am too conscious and cannot move an arm or leg. I admire people who do so gracefully and blame my parents for not enrolling me in dance classes early on.

Drinking and Dancing was in full swing. I was eating in some corner with other poor dancers like me. One of my friends forced to get on the dance floor. He was a very enthusiastic dancer and assured me that I could dance simply by imitating him. Now when I get on the dance floor, all my friends surround me and start shouting tips aloud. When I finally make my first move, it is highly amusing for them and outrageously embarrassing for me. So this cycle lasts 5 minutes usually. It repeats but not too regularly. This time, my favourite song 'Fanaa' from Yuva was playing. I was enjoying the music and tapping my feet albeit standing rooted in one comfortable spot. Little did I know what was approaching me from behind. One of my senior teammates B was swaying to the music, beer in hand. He was in a trance and the next thing I knew, he pushed me and all the beer fell on my T-shirt and hand !!! I was livid and wanted to break the glass on his head. I hate the smell of beer and don't drink , but here I was smelling like a roadside bar. I rushed to the washroom and tried to wash it off by splashing water but no avail.

Resigned to my smelly fate, I borrowed some body's perfume and sprayed it all over myself to reduce the stink. I was totally scared knowing my parents would be shell-shocked and really ANGRY! I got my food and was looking for my friends when the second debacle took place. The same guy ( Yeah the s-a-m-e ) ran into me again and needless to say, he was again with a mug of beer in his hand. I was bathed in beer this time - it ran all over down to my cargos and shoes! He just had a refill I presume. I swore loudly this time and could have murdered him I think if I had a gun instead of my dinner plate in hand. He was really apologetic and I couldn't care less - Beer made him blind I knew.

The rest of the night was fortunately uneventful. I reached home at 11 in the night with the overpowering smell of beer only to face my furious parents who were sure I had been drinking. I had to explain the ridiculous incident and convinced them that I had not even had a sip by telling them to check my breath and my eyes. I only felt better after I had a really long bath and smelt of soap. What a relief. This was one of the first office parties. I avoided beer mug holders , dancers and B totally after this 'beery' sick incident !!

* CTs- Cheap Thrills