Flight of the cockroach

*Warning : Certainly not for the faint-hearted*

Unless and until you have a peculiar affinity for cockroaches (in which case let me confess I'd be really afraid of you), you are NOT going to like this. So the hero of my story is a cockroach. Had it been a kitten, I would have given it some thought and come up with a sweet name. But a cockroach - I'm sorry, I prefer to call it a 'sewage-lover', 'drain-habiter', 'toerag', 'menace' and other such pleasantries. In case you have other challenging synonyms , lets play a game. The blogger who coins the most disgusting and dirtiest name ever wins an award ( You can pick any from the right side of my page )!!!

It was half past midnight and I woke up feeling extremely thirsty. After having a glass of water, I crawled back into bed and minutes later, I hear 'Zzz' ! I couldn't sleep with the incessant Zzz-ing in my ears. I contemplated switching on the lights as the decibel levels of the 'Zzz' was not as low as that of a normal house-fly. I'm not an expert, I tried to use common sense best suited for that late at night. I put on the lights and I SAW IT! A HUGE COCKROACH FLYING in my room. I loathe cockroaches and detest them crawling around. Flying cockroaches simply churned the dinner in my stomach. I deserve a pat(s) on my back here - I did NOT run out of the room screaming! I did NOT scare my tired parents who were sleeping! But I'll admit I really missed my brother. I might have shaken him awake had he been home. We've chased squirrels, rats together in the past so a cockroach would have been .. child's play! I am only TERRIFIED (totally) of lizards. Others, I can tackle with some company. No such luck. It was 1 a.m. and I was alone in my zombie-like state. Cockroach seemed least bothered. I stood rooted to my spot, scratching my head and watching the cockroach circling my room. I started feeling dizzy watching the demented scum flying around in circles doggedly.

My plan of action (after 10 minutes of pondering) was this - Shut my room & go sleep in the living room. I mean, had it been scurrying around on the floor, I would've attempted murder. What could I do to a soaring roach? As I was taking my blanket, the cockroach felt neglected (I guess) and all of a sudden crash-landed on the edge of my cot. Damn !! MY BED... was all I thought. This called for WAR , in no uncertain terms. I shut the door & this time remained in my room. Grabbed a newspaper and tried to push it to the floor. The darn cockroach crawled fast on the edge of my cot. Simply too fast for me. I pulled off the mattress, pillow, bed covers and everything else on the bed along with it. After all that effort ... It simply took off again! I was wide awake now and absolutely disgruntled. I wanted to shoot it dead. I quickly ran to the other end and opened the door to the veranda leading out of my bedroom. I fervently prayed that it would fly out and restore the little peace which was there in my life. Again, it landed on my cot. It was apparent the cockroach enjoyed this whole take-off and land tussle. This time, the Gods showed some mercy and I managed to push it down to the floor with my newspaper. The brainless cockroach , for the first time displayed signs of smartness and scuttled away into the open veranda. I shut the door immediately. I contemplated sleeping in the living room in any case. Problem was I wasn't sleepy at all :-( I watched TV till 3 a.m. in the morning - 'Ladder 49' was coming on HBO !!! I did go to office the next day, a braver woman. Normally I am every bit a damsel in distress when it comes to pests and rodents, do not mistake such one time occurrences for the regular me :-P I'm sure there was something mixed in my dinner which resulted in my bold behaviour that night. But you can nominate me for bravery awards ?!?!!! Please do. Oho, Pretty Please !!!!!!!!

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Edited to Update :: 21/10 (As promised) -- I celebrated Diwali by staying away from Bangalore, Internet & cockroaches (oh yeah !!). Hope you all had a sparkling Diwali :-) Loved all the comments and as mentioned, I'd like to present an award to the following bloggers who came up whacky names. I couldn't pick a favourite :-)

Mohan , Bala , Shruthi - Congratulationsssss !! Thanks , I really had a good laugh when I read your pick (Do read their comments). I hope you like this award. Exchange offers for awards not entertained ;-)

** P.S. (for all) - Its probably not right to give away an award for naming a cockroach ; With all due respects and sincerity, I do believe theirs is a lovely blog indeed !! :-)